Gucci- I hope you'll check out Coach's thread a while back on friendship. I would LOVE to get your take on it. SP came up with "friendiness" and we all tossed it around a bit.
Especially with kids involved, it is hard to find that sweet spot.
Yes. I have seen the "friendship" debate over and over and over. On this site and on others. Trying to be a friend to a woman while you are deep down inside the depths of your soul trying to win her love, doesn't work. Women sense these things. Just as Stuck told his wife that it is human nature to love more than one person (which I disagree with)it is also human nature for a person to sense and know that you are trying to come across as being her friend when in reality and complete honesty it is just another tactic to win her back. (which is exactly what Stuck is trying to do)
NOW.. IF (and I do say IF)
IF Stuck would tell and show his wife that he is DONE and is just as interested as she is in ending this "farce" of a marriage.......
He just may find an interesting turn of events in her behavior. Of course he can't find that out UNTIL he actually finds the CONFIDENCE and self respect to apply it.
As is human nature.. She THEN will sense that he truly has let go. It will THEN be that she will be having to ask herself the correct questions... Which can and should be this.
*Is this now what I really want? *Have I pushed him too far and hurt him too much? *What if we are making a mistake now that he has let go?
As long as he wants to give her foot rubs,back rubs, be her friend, tell her loving two men is okay and human nature, let her know how long suffering he can be, and yada yada yada.. is as long as this will stay exactly as is or get slowly worse and die the slow death..... YUK...
Regarding "friendship"..... When he takes the bull by the horns and decides he WILL NOT live like this anymore he will then be able to tell her and SHOW her that "friends" is ALL he wants.... HE will feel and show her that he wants no more than to be friends. He will be saying it in the context that the WS tells the BS when they tell you they want to be freinds.
She will THEN sense that in her heart. There is a BIG difference in telling a woman that you want to be there friend when that is ALL you want, then in telling them you want to be their friend when you are deep down lying and using it as a hope to the key to win her heart. He can tell the people on hear all day long that he is doing it with no expectations. If YOU want to fall for that, be my guest. His posts are telling me that he wants her as his wife and lover.
IF I can sense that through a post on the internet... Do you think his wife can't?
Hope that clears a little of the friendship thing up...
YES.. Being their friend is great. NEVER be mean or hurtful when a woman leaves you.
I would surely tell them I will be friends. No doubt...
I would then leave them alone, move happily on with my life and find someone else who wants to be with me and love me like I deserve. I would hope she would still want to be friends after she knew I had found another wonderful, beautiful, fun, sexy woman that I was giving my all too.. YEP.. WE will always stay friends......
