Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

HW - you are right. Completely. That is precisely how I felt last night after I got off the phone. I don't need this. I know that I can't expect people to be as considerate as I think I am. They are not me. Maybe, very likely, they just didn't grow up with the closeness and importance I have for my family. But, it DID shock me...how could you not wish her a HB. I am truly starting to see that H gets a lot of his traits from his Mother. I love my MIL, don't get me wrong. But, she plays both sides of the fence and she really doesn't need to. I hate that she still feels the need to "hide" things from me. I told her that she didn't ever need to lie to me. If I have the stupidity to ask her a question, and I get and answer I don't like...that's my fault...I'll learn eventually NOT to ask those questions.

You're right, I should not have sent follow up texts. It isn't my job to make them be more active in her life. It just burns me that they spent the day with OW and her kids and my H instead of their granddaughter. I just have to keep reminding myself that they are not me. I have let go, a lot. I only talk to my MIL about once a week as opposed to everyday. I send her a picture of K every Monday morning. And, I try to get together with them when they are in town. But, it's pretty obvious that "they" are their family, now. I'm just the ex-wife. I'm okay with it. Well, let's just say...I'm starting to be okay with it. I know this is how it is.

I don't need to be Mrs. Nice Gal any longer. I realized that, too last night. Why do I need to continue being nice to my H when he is just a total jerk to me...constantly. No more. Maybe I'll just mirror his actions and disposition. Let's see how he likes it for a while. So, that's what I'm a gonna do. I'm not answering his calls and I refuse to call him back if he doesn't leave a message. When he drops K off after his visit, I'll take her say "thanks" ask when she ate last and tell K to say goodbye to her dad. I used to ask how he was doing and make small talk...NO MORE. It's time for me to be a leader...he can follow...if he wants. If not, I'll just keep moving farther from him. Sounds like a win-win situation.