Although the other way could be good too. I could drop them off, they could be plopped in front of the television with a box of Froot Loops and a 12-pack of soda pop, while WAW spends 48 hours in her room. Yeah, that'll work.
SP- has it occurred to you that she may need to learn how to be a mom? I think it is the thing that makes her feel the worst about herself (that lack of maternal instinct and proficiency)...and by worst I mean look back at how she has described herself...it is baaaaad.
I think you need to get out of the way and at least give her a chance to figure that out (bonding, parenting)...has to happen with a lot of Hs and I so relate to how threatening it can be when it involves our children.
This issue occurred to me a while back but I sort of let it lie but now that you've expressed so clearly how incapable she is of parenting, I think it is a very real hurdle for both of you.
