I think you're right, she has hit the bottom in some way and is realizing that her choices have serious consequences that she doesn't like. She wants everything while giving nothing. Cake eating. She doesn't want OM but she has to be with him? WTH is that? Because she needs a place to live?
IMO, the best thing you can do for yourself and your boys is the distance yourself more from her. Don't speak to her at all unless it's a logistics thing. Don't allow her to draw you into a convo about anything other than the pick up/drop off of the boys. There is no need to tell her of your plans with them, no need to discuss the change of tradition. She will see the changes and deal with them on her own. You need the distance to heal properly.
Yes, lives are changed forever. In that, you have the opportunity now to create something wonderful for your kids. Something new and exciting all of your own. So, what do you plan to do with them on the 4th?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
