SP - I am just wondering why, when she started asking "how can it be that you are doing so well?" that you didn't just tell her the truth.
"It is because I was forced into an immediate program of self-reflection when you said you were divorcing me. I had no choice but to learn how to cope with my new future. To learn that, I had to read a lot of books, talk to my counselor, and begin getting help and support from other divorced people. I have learned so much in these few months and I really am a changed man and person. At first, I was honestly only doing these things hoping to win you back. When I could see that wasn't going to work, I had to change my focus onto helping myself cope only and letting go the idea that you will ever come back. From there, I've had to make even more progress. This process has been more painful, but more enlightening, than anything I've ever gone through. You would benefit by doing a similar self-reflection process to help you cope with your future and your decisions, too".
By claiming you "don't know what she's talking about" while she is clearly confused by your ability to retain your mojo, you are being dishonest. And she could use the same tools, she really could. She is going to have an easier transition if she can really study up on things.
If you told her the above and she rejects it, then well, that's that. But what if she is open to an honest conversation about it? What if you could recommend some well-placed titles that you know would "speak" to her, and she would be willing to read them because she is seeing you do so well?
Honesty is always best.
You don't have to fork over all your DB knowledge or techniques. But being honest about the self-reflection and study is better than being vague about it..."oh I don't know why I've got so much mojo, I just do...tra la la" is not honest.
