"And.. allowing the emotionally withdrawn spouse to initiate, to ask for what they need, not trying to fix them or fix things for them. Allowing growth with oneself.. and for the one you pledged your life during one of the most painful times in life."
Gypsy- IMO this quote from you sums up one of the most difficult aspects of this whole thing.
While rationally I've recognized it as the current reality in my broken M, its so hard to resist the daily thoughts and impulses, the fight, not flight mentality, that comes so naturally.
I wanted to problem solve this most important problem I've ever faced the way I have and do with other aspects of my life. Its terrible to remind oneself over and over, the only thing to do now is nothing. Nothing for them, everything for me. And that nothing for them is also everything.
Thanks for spelling out this reminder to us all.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
