So much of the DBing advice here, however, seems to be "When you see your WAS in trouble, then let them fall. If they ask for help, then make sure they know you are not there to catch them." ie, provide the WAS with less support than you would give a friend.
I don't know what threads YOU'RE readin', but all I ever see is "rub their feet, clean the house, light-the-scented-candles and care for the kids while they take a bath, be-their-best-friend, etc. Blccccch.
I think sometimes the best thing you can do when you love someone is to let them fail, and to teach themselves to get back up again. Especially if the "failing" is a natural consequence of some poor decision(s) on their part.
