Orich, I'm sorry to see what you're going through - and I know it's impossibly painful.
Something that jumped out at me in your post is that she had told you what she wouldn't do....I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but I've found from my own experience and also on this board that WAS tend to show their cards in language like that...Not so say that your W is having a PA....but the language certainly sounds like that of an EA. I heard the same words from my STBX - the same script...I know it's hard to face this...but one thing I can say is that no matter what she's doing you'll have to do the same things for yourself - namely - work on improving yourself and exploring/understanding what kind of unfinished business brought you into your marriage.
It's painful stuff - hell, it's excruciating - but I know for certain that you can come through this with a much healthier sense of yourself - and if your marriage reconciles in the end, it will happen with you as a stronger person as well...and if it doesn't, you'll have done the work to be a better man. I find that most of the men who come to this site are good, decent men who want to work at improving themselves - and from what I've read of your posts, I see the same in you.
