Stuck... you mentioned sex and waiting for her to initiate it, I'll tell you that most women like it when men initiate - yes you have to deal with rejection possibly but it does boost their self-esteem when you pursue them.
You mentioned spa treatments and that she didn't like other people touching her so I have to ask because you haven't said it, how many times have you given her massages, foot rubs, etc.
If you want to start with something small, here's an idea: - if you guys happen to be watching some tv on the couch one evening and kids are asleep, tell her you have an idea, walk out of the room, come back with some skin lotion (nothing fancy, just something you would use on your hands for dry skin) and offer her a foot rub and if she asks why, tell her that you're both sitting there anyways watching tv, you're awake and wouldn't mind doing something nice and you wouldn't mind the practice because it's been a "long time" since you've done anything like this. The possibility that she says NO is real but being secure & confident in yourself means taking chances and there is no harm in offering a friendly footrub, it wouldn't be sexual, it would be you just rubbing her feet and making her feel better - my wife tells me that a good foot rub for her is like getting a back rub (I can't see it personally and would never let anyone rub my feet but women are special & different that way). Friends can do nice things for friends without expecting anything in return.
If she says "she isn't sure it's a good idea" or something similar, tell her "lets try it and if you don't like it, you can say stop at anytime and no harm done." If you're sincere, confident and seem genuine about it without thinking this will save your marriage, you might just get through to her. Remember be confident, act like it's not big deal, don't go in with the look on your face that you're seeking her approval, you want to do this and she will want to let you - that's the mindset you will want to have when offering her this nice gesture.
If she agrees to the foot rub, do a good job, focus on the heels, the arch of her ankle (apparently when you massage this correctly you will make the hair on their head stand up straight), the bottom of the feet are strong, lots of muscle tissue, so be prepared to knead it like dough, go up & down the sole of her foot, work on the balls of her feet, work underneath the big toe area, gently rub the top of her foot as well, do a good job and while you're doing it ask her what area feels good or needs attention, after a while if she gets into it she will direct you where to apply pressure and what she likes.
Is this 100% guaranteed to work for you & your situation, no - there aren't any guarantees but I know women for the most part like to have their feet rubbed so there is no harm in offering a friendly foot rub in the evening when the chance presents itself that you're both sitting together on a couch watching some tv.
My wife mentioned that she likes being pampered that way and I'm sure she isn't unique in that respect. I noticed a show where a woman was getting a pedicure at a salon and they were giving her a foot rub & calf/lower leg massage - women pay for this treatment so I'm assuming they must like it alot. Touching her in a non-sexual way that is friendly will go a long way to restoring a bond between you that has been broken for quite some time (obviously don't tell her this part because she will think you're scheming something, just offer the footrub and do a good job)
And before you say anything like "my wife doesn't like this" or "she would never allow me to do this", STOP!!!!!!! Stop setting up obstacles for yourself, let go of that crap mindset and start adopting a successful mindset, you will feel more confident and others around you will feel that vibe as well. Stop thinking it won't work, start thinking it can work. Just offer it the way I described and be friendly about it but not approval seeking. You want to do this, you like to do this, she will like it too if you let her.
Good luck bro, I will wait to hear if you're successful with this.
