Prematurely called divorce busted, worse now

[Orich]

I don't know what to say.
It never even occurred to me that there could be an EA. I just know that he is married with a family, and in the past my wife has said that there was no way anything could have ever happened between the two of them because she wasn't really attracted to him. I am trying to be realistic, but I really don't think thats a problem. She has repeatedly explained to me that she is not interested in a relationship at all right now, and feels like she needs to be alone. I believe this because even when things were good between us, she always maintained that she would be fine if she was alone.
If there is an EA, that will change things a bit for me. If there was a PA, that might be a deal breaker. I went through a divorce after wife's PA before after trying to work it out, I am not going through that pain again.
Either way, my heart is being torn out, and it sucks.