Trying to stay strong

[hopeful_cb]

Thanks for the wishes orchid.

I have been thinking about the roommate thing for a month now. I wasn't in any rush to move, but realistically I will have to eventually bc I can't afford to spend so much of my income on my rent. I have pretty much decided to go ahead and move into a new place I have found and have a roommate to make things cheaper. I think we do get along really well and have similar takes on things, but not I've not lived with her or anyone else besides H ever.

I think for me it is probably the best thing I can do. I could get a place on my own, but then I'd be paying twice as much and it might be nice to have company of a roommate.

I guess this all just happened much faster than I was planning on(I was thinking I have a month or 2 to decide) and havent quite prepared myself....but then don't know if I'd ever be prepared to leave 'our' house and get my own. I guess I have made the decision but then started to panic and worry if this choice would hurt any chance of R with H if that was ever on the cards. bc now there is no 'home' for him to come back to.

I also really like my apartment I have and its very convenient for me, I am comfortable here and don't want to have to go. But i guess I have to be practical bc spending so much on rent prob isn't good for me in the long run either.

Moving out seems so final too. H has made no attempts to come get his things, so I guess that gave me a little hope. But now I'll have to tell him to come box it up bc I'm moving out. And that will be a hard process to go thru.