GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

aliveandkicking,

"Hun, you know I adore you but go back and read your first description of life after baby one. I know you did great, but go back and read how you told us you felt."

I know, I know. Like I said, I'm just a dumb man. : ) But hey, I'm willing to learn. I probably did the right motions, but EXPECTED something in return in the end. I just didn't realize it at the time. I've learned about expectations alot lately. I've learned how to truly give without expecting anything in return.

You're right about her seeing me as her adversary. I do get that hostility from time to time and she never opened up why, but I can see how my actions had built up resentments from your post.

I did mention to her about post-partum before and she told me that she was planning to see a C about it. She never did and when I brought it up again, she accused me of forcing her to see a C. I snapped back and reminded her that it wasn't me who suggested it, but her. She got quiet after that.

I see what you mean about the security thing. I think that's what OM represented to her. He's older, much more successful as a doctor. Combine that with what I read in her "feelings" note where she sounded like a schoolgirl, maybe she did see him as someone who could take care of her (see my post to 25 above).

One thing about the sex though. I asked her once (pre-bomb) if she ever fantasized about anyone while we were having sex, she was quiet and I said "I bet I know who" and I mentioned her boss. She sheepishly said "yes". Ugh.

Going Dark would send the wrong message I think because it would be inconsistent with what I'm doing so far. And I've gotten us to friendly ground.

I'm going to do what sandi, robx, coach and others have said and treat her like a good friend. Just be friendly with her and not too friendly.

I like your idea about the family projects working together. I'll think of something and give it a shot. It just has to be the right project though.