Why do you think she responded to you the way she did?
Do you think it was because you were friendly?
Puppy
that's tough to answer. part of it is i think SHE is still very codependent on me, but is trying in her own, maybe misguided, way. also, i know she loves me, but i'm starting to act the way i did when we first got together. it's hard to remember that person sometimes after everything that's happened. BUT i'm also taking this time for me. she realizes that and is curious. also, besides my one minor slip up tuesday nite during the storm, i've avoided all R talk and when it came up, tried to validate how she felt but then gave my own brief synopsis of what i should have been doing during those situations.
i haven't told her i've been researching codependency or DB'ing again obviously, but giving her feedback and acknowledging i was wrong in what i did at the time seems to be working...
one thing my DB coach pointed out, and she knows as we've spoken in the past 15 months, is that our relationship was always romantic. we never really experienced just the friendship part of the R. she says that's what i need to focus on right now and that's kinda what i had been doing. she realigned my time frame for me, however, which is making me realize this is likely to take longer then hoped (not longer then expected tho really).
in the end, i guess she responded because i was no longer pursuing her. her codependent nature and my sudden lack of one probably brought it on. i guess i just have to use it to my advantage.
