I am just now seeing your post or I would have stopped by. Glad you were smart to come to this DB board b/c I can tell you that is saved my sanity and my M.
Before going into a long post.....as I usually do.... .....I would like to ask you to clear something up for me, please. Why do you say that the LRT would not work on your W? What do you see the LRT as being?
I'll be anxious to hear from you.
Take care, Sandi
Sandi,
It' great to hear from you! I have to apologize, I've also posted previously in WAS and Newcomers so if you would like additional history on my sitch, you might want to check out those earlier posts of mine.
Regarding LRT, I'm currently working on stopping the pursuing altogether. That's a tough one as I am a "fixer" by nature.
The GALing is tough as I'm limited to GAL due to my kids, plus there is the general complaint from her that I've been selfish in the past in pursuing only things that interest me and not necessarily her. So there is a concern with regards to playing right into her hands and validating her perception by GAL-ing. (I know, it really shouldn't matter what she thinks right now given the EA.)
Thirdly, I'm somewhat skeptical of any effect the LRT may have given how committed my wife currently is to the OM, the regular communication they have along with the apparent shared goal of the "one year to go before W files for divorce". That stated goal really bothers me in particular because it gives both of them a time line to work towards and prepare for a shared objective- it kinda takes the steam out of any LRT in my mind.
As of right now, I have only been able to go "quasi- dark" in two instances for approximately two weeks each before experiencing some backsliding. After the first backslide, my W remarked that this period was beneficial in that she could not "hate" me but that her mind had not changed. After the second backslide, my W commented that it was nice that we weren't arguing during this period but that her mind had not changed. She also commented on the awkwardness of having very limited physical and verbal contact. (I did not acknowledge this, but I too felt it very awkward.)
I realize that in reading some of the other posts that I'm probably just not being patient enough.
I'm looking forward to your feedback. Thanks!
M: 41 W: 39 S: 11 S: 10 D: 4 1st contact w/OM: 1/19/09 EA began: 2/14/09 EA discovered: 3/1/09 I file for D 8/25/09 to protect myself _______________________________
.....I would like to ask you to clear something up for me, please. Why do you say that the LRT would not work on your W? What do you see the LRT as being? 
