So it was about 2 months after the second birth that we had sex again because she felt ready.
I can almost bet that 2 months was too soon and that she resented it. Sorry for the mind-reading but you've got a W who wont talk to you so why not? Can't hurt to ponder what went on between you two...and, your part.
This is not to point fingers, you've described a very common situation and you are obviously a good guy but you've got to get to your part if you are going to change anything.
For one, you've got to see that from a woman's perspective (at least mine and it seems 25), you're glossing over some whoppers. I'm glad we're discussing this because it is nearly impossible for you to see it. You know how awesome you were!!! You waited two damn months for sex. Guess what? For many women postpartum is extremely stressful physically and emotionally. And of course there's exhaustion.
AND, you have a two year old! That is barely out of the realm of postpartum.
Can you have an honest talk with your wife about how she feels about working? Maybe there's nothing there but maybe there is. Prior to, I think you should be aware of what your financial limitations are. If she did reveal that she longs to stay at home, could you compromise, could she find a work at home opportunity or work less hours. My instinct is that this is a big one but who knows?
Going dark to me would be iffy. You could try it but for me, it just hit on my insecurities when H pulled away from me. Now, leaving, that was an earthquake and it woke me up, not necessarily to what I needed to do for him but to get out of my funk and wise up to the state of my life and my own complacency.
You have a two year old. I do not think you should leave but, I think there needs to be some major shifts and the work thing could be one.
In her state NEVER accept her first reaction as her true feelings...you are in many ways her adversary. SO, even if you come up with the best idea, she may be pissy and then low and behold, a week later she's mentioning some work alternative that her friend suggested. ETC.
You've got your work cut out for you (who of us doesn't?)
