Wish I could read her mind (9) >>>>

[The Wifey]

Hmmm. Not sure I agree. Not about calmly saying that you know everything that is going on, but about telling her to leave. I think I would point out the agreement you had, that you are not alright with what she is doing, you know she is doing X, and that you do not respect her for it. Then turn on your heal and let her stew.

I told my h that he had to choose to work on the M or leave. That day. Immediately. I regret it still.