WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[The Wifey]

I appreciate you taking the time to catch up on my situation. This job loss bomb is a major distraction, but I still am trying to save my marriage.

Thanks for all your help

I had a computer issue, and that was why I hadn't been around. I will always go back and check on people I've posted to.

I was laid off a month ago. Darned if it didn't faze me in the least. If it had happened before the bomb I would most likely have been devastated. But, in the scheme of things, it didn't even compare to the bomb.

Think of it this way, you have nearly 46 weeks of unemployment you are eligible for. Granted, the money isn't as large as what you were making, but you can live on it conservatively.

The pages in the DR book refer to well-meaning family/friends and the advice you will get. Even here, people are human and don't want you to hurt any more than people in the real, non-cyber world.

The very best thing you can do to save your m is to GAL. Honestly, for a long while it will seem like you are only going through the motions because it is so hard not to focus on your W and what is going on. But truly give it your all.

I mention fishing because that has been such a high point in my life the last year. And, getting laid off at the beginning of fishing season has actually made unemployment look pretty good so far. : ) My H has even made comments about my fishing and how much I am enjoying it.

GAL will give your W the SPACE she needs in her own head. It is so important to give her that SPACE. I capitalize it to emphasize this. If the only thing she sees is you focused on how you hurt, the less she will believe that you care about how she feels.

I know that sounds strange to you. But, no spouse just wakes up one morning and decides it is a good day to get a divorce or separate. She had to get to this point. That takes time. She has feelings that maybe don't make sense to you right now, but they are her feelings.

Don't push, take a breath, step back and most of all, don't let anyone's opinion of what you should do decide for you what you should do. I know the time you've been here seems like an eternity and you want it to be all better right now.

Instead, read what the WA's write. It will help you more than anyone else's posts. GAL. Focus on your boys. Fish. Be friendly and don't answer anger with anger. Be patient. And when you need to melt down have at it. It is manly to be able to cry. Just don't share the despair with your W. Come here instead.