Rollercoaster continues. I'm about worn out with everything. Just when I think I'm practicing DBing well it seems I'm not. He still thinks that I don't get that he needs space because I was surprised that he decided to go to the lake this weekend (father's day weekend). I went to the lake by myself last weekend and it was wonderful! When I got back I thought we were making progress.
His latest thing is that he feels two of my girlfriends are treating him differently (not true) because I've talked to them about things. That I've bad-mouthed him and they only know my side of the story.
Had a confrontation with the friend (my H's best friend's wife - they are going through a separation/divorce)and my H and her spent 31 hrs on the phone over a month's time - no affair she still wants to reconcile with her H see my previous posts). We talked everything out. I was out of line for talking about her situation with other people and I apologized for that. She apologized to me. But I can tell my H fed her information as well.
This all happened Wednesday after we came home Tuesday night after our latest counseling session and he was all pissed off again because as I found out on Wendesday - he said I take the gloves off and let him have it. But yet it's ok for him to talk about the same things over and over again and how I've wronged him!
That set me off and Wednesday when he wouldn't return my phone call (I'd discovered the friend had called him again and talked for an hour). Which led to me driving to his business during my lunch hour - having the phone confrontation with her on the way and then having a discussion with him! By the way she agreed there would be no more contact and there really hasn't been expect for a couple of times. She really was just going to him for advice on how to deal with her H.
I guess I need some real help with space giving. I stay out of his way when we're both at home. But I guess he needs to feel like going to the lake is OK and that I'm Ok with it. Somehow I'm not communicating that to him.
He told me he feels like we're going backwards instead of making progress.
We went out to dinner with his family for father's day. We just met there from work. I took off afterward and went over to a friend's house. Just got home and he's downstairs which frankly is a relief. We'll both go to work tomorrow and then he'll leave for the lake. So I'm hoping by disconnecting entirely tonight and all weekend that when he gets home Sunday night maybe he'll have had a good break and things won't be so tense.
I plan on just going to work and coming home and doing my own thing and staying out of his way again next week.
OK - how do I keep myself from getting so reactive and worked up over things? I'm making things worse instead of better!
