GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

aak,

"I understand my H's feelings but in it, it just came off as juvenile and self-centered...why couldn't he just co-parent and delay gratification for a while like I was. Her isolation was likely what made her envision herself as a single parent."

BINGO! I get it now! Thanks for that lightbulb moment. I've been trying to "mindread" her since she doesn't open up, to try and see things in her shoes and I think you've done it.

"Be honest, how well was "well?" Was it really working? Or was it just better in relation to the other rough times?

Did she struggle at all with leaving her kids to go back to work?"

I think it was "well" in terms of being better than the rough times. Although we never really had any "rough" times that I knew of. She might have been swallowing some that in though. When she went back to work, I think she wished she could have stayed home with them, but I don't think it was a hard thing for her to go back.

"Did that provoke any major changes?"

Not really, because by that point she had already dropped the bomb. Even before she dropped the bomb, I found out from her mom that my W had been telling her that she wanted out of the R, but didn't elaborate why. I couldn't believe my MIL couldn't tell me at that time that something was wrong.

"Yep, sounds familiar. I'm not trying to be snide but did you not anticipate your sex life dwindling after second baby? Given the first experience?"

Not really, because I didn't really figure out what the problem was after the first one. We just kind of went along with the flow and rolled with the changes and assumed that's just the way life is. Now I know better.

Thanks for the clarity. You are totally awesome. And yeah we should arrange for a drive-by DB kung-fu attack on both our spouses. They just don't know who they're messing with.