WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

I know you're hurting because right now you need the support of someone who cares for what you're going through. Right now it's not your W. I felt the same way when my W was indifferent towards my job. My W didn't even call me to ask if I still had my job. So when my grandmother went into her surgery and I felt down, I already knew I couldn't depend on my W. Just myself.

Stop and take a look at what you have right now. RIGHT NOW. Look what's right in front of you. You've got your brains, you've got two healthy kids and you've got the guts to be the man it takes to do what you have to do.

Have you ever seen the movie "Pursuit of Happyness"? That shows you what fathers can and will do.

You say your kids are watching you right now. When they grow up to become men themselves, what image do you want them to remember you by? The sullen, sulking dad, or the one who stood strong and fought for them. My Ds know what I am. What about you?

Stuck,

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. There are times when I am wallowing in my woo's that I forget that many other here are suffering as well.

I know I can't count on my wife for support. I've really used these past 5 months to reconnect with my family and close friends. I have been leaning on them pretty heavy and had started to back off a little, but know I'm back to heavy again.

I will look for that movie you suggested, I have been thinking about finding a nite where I take a break from dealing with this situation nor trying to find a job or tweaking my resume. It has been sooooo long since I've just taken a minute to breath and think. Even when I was at the gym or church, I was always processing my situation. I know I need to relax and unwind to recharge. I'm no good to anyone if I'm not 100%.

I need to count my blessing for the things I still have and not wallow on what I don't. Thanks for reminding me of that.

I know right now my boys need me to be stronger than ever. My cousin the other nite told me when her parents got divorced, she said the greatest pain she had to face/deal with was being scared for her parents. She said that she had a knot in her stomach and it took a long time for it to go away. I know the feeling as that's the knot that has been in my stomach since 1/9/09.

I want my boys to become men that are strong and resilient and never giving up and constantly raising the bar to move forward. I know that they will only be that way by seeing me be that man.

Thanks Stuck - for everything.