WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

Walk with me. Let's keep fighting. It might not end well, but at least we'll look our kids in their eyes and tell them "when it was over, I had bloody hands and no teeth left because I fought this tooth and nail....." And we'll be telling the truth.

Stilloveshim,

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm glad that you are starting to see a glimmer of light. I have been getting really down of late (before the job bomb) as it didn't seem like anyone was getting anywhere through all their attempts.

I've had a handful of folks who have been consistent supporters/followers of my thread which I can not find the words to thank or show my appreciation.

I do agree 100% with your statement of being able to tell the kids when this is over that I gave it my all. My wife had even mentioned this week, when she was reminding me that she still wanted a divorce and this job loss doesn't change anything, that she knows that she will look like the "bad guy" out of all this since she is the one who left.

She says that the kids aren't going to understand right now how I made her feel by neglecting her. When she started down that path, I just shook my head and didn't say a word in response. I didn't feel like it merited a response as I think deep down inside she knows she is fooling herself. So I decided to take the high road where you don't argue with someone who doesn't have a point worth arguing about.

I forget how I ended that call, but I know I did end the call shortly after that.

I had a real struggle with my boys tonite though. She hadn't talked to them since Tuesday nite when she called. She didn't call last nite to talk to the boys, and when I responded to her text at 9:30 PM, she was already asleep since she still wasn't feeling well). She didn't call tonite and I asked the boys if they wanted to talk to mommy. Both said no. I waited about 10 minutes and asked them again. Both were very insistent with their no and the 7 year old seemed like he was going to get upset if I pressed the issue.

I feel like I should have them call her, but they didn't want to. I know she has told me that she thinks the parent with the kids should do the calling (although a couple of times I wound up calling since it was getting past the time they normally go to sleep). What are your thoughts? Should I have called her anyway to let the kids talk to her? A few weeks ago, she had even thanked me for having the kids call her when I had them (after she complained that I never had them call, where I then said that she can call them anytime like I do when she doesn't call).

So should I have made the kids call her?