John, I hate to tell you this but do not believe a word she told you...it just is not true. She misses no one and the fairy tale about wanting to come home "but not just yet" is just a continuation of her attempt to control the situation by hopefully preventing you from exposing her to her CoC and keep you hanging on in the background as backup when the OM leaves.
Now and next week is a good time for you to recharge. How is your investigation to confirm the OM identity going?
Your call on the 27 yr old...be aware that your emotions are very raw right now. If you were to pursue a relationship with this person then you need to seriously consider what you want to to with your wife...you have the upper hand in a custody battle right now if your W were to file...do not lose that advantage. I know right now you may be a little low on your feeling of self worth and all that but you will find there are many 27ish (IMHO a little too young for you right now to be serious about and you will want to be a little because of your W affair) women for you if you wish...after the divorce. No need to jump in feet first. Go slow no matter what you decide to do...
Again, Phoenixdeux has probably given you the best advice you will ever get from anyone..."it's not as easy as that anymore.
Just be careful...of your own emotions and others. Don't let your W very poor morals change yours...you will regret it the rest of your life. The guilt will hit you at the worst moments in your life...be a good man. You have done the right thing so far...as a father, husband, and a SNCO.
Again, take care of D, do not get on the booze train, secure your money (all WAWs talk a good talk and promise everything until they get involved with OM and a lawyer).
