I'm very sorry about your situation. Believe it or not, none of us saw it coming....it's so very gradual that it doesn't hit us until it's full blown.

Your lawyer needs to follow up on the 401K situation and soon. Your h is really out there and may be out there for a long time. You do not want to lose everything.

Please do not beat yourself up. We all have been down that road and wish that we could have seen what was happening long before it became full blown. We actually do not realize or think about it until it's too late and they've been transported on to the Mother Ship.

Take care of yourself for that is very important.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.