Haven't updated in awhile so i thought i would recap what's been happening.
after completeing going dark for a few days, W kept calling and texting me 3 or 4 times a day. I would answer or respond half the time, as i really was busy. Monday nite/tues morning she texted she's glad i'm happy while she's there being miserable, and i responded i'm not happy because she's not here. reiterated that i'm really taking advantage of the time i have now she said she had wasted two years of her life, and i responded "i didn't waste anything =)". she texted back she didn't either and that she didn't mean it. she called then i we spoke for a few minutes. told i still cared and she said she really cared still. she misses us being together and doing the things we used to do. i said i do too, but i'm using this time to work on me and that she should too. we said goodbye, and then she texted she was sorry, she was drunk and emotional. i told her she has nothing to be sorry for.
the next day she called in the afternoon letting me know she was on her way here. in a matter of minutes our area went into a tornado warning and i had to take shelter. i called her back and told her not to come as the storm was bad. she understood. i texted 30 mins later and said i could see the tornado east of the house and that it was hailing really bad. she called back immediately and i was a bit emotional and had a minor break down on her. we only talked for 5 minutes and she vented some of her frustrations about the past R we had. i listened. i let her go after that.
she called the next morning, wednesday, and we only talked for a few minutes, i said i would txt her back later as i was in the middle of something. she called a few hours later and in 10 minutes of talking, she admitted how much she missed me again, and that she still cares and i'm still her best friend. THEN...
Then she said she loves me with all of her heart. she hadn't said that phrase in months, it was always "love you too." i calmly replied i love you too. we talked and she brought up how she wasn't ready to come home, blah blah blah. i validated her feelings saying i wasn't ready either as i'm still working on myself and learning to live a happy life. we parted ways on the phone.
THEN a few hours later she called. i answered as we had just had a good talk. she asked if she can bring two of our dogs back. and not just any two, one was the chihuahua, her BABY. she would shun the other dogs just to give that one attention. she said where she's staying they only allow two dogs and wanted to know if i would keep the other two. i said absolutely and that i missed them. she says i am the only one she trusts with them, and i told her she knows they would be cared for and loved here. she then asked if she could stop anytime to see them. i said yes, they're still her dogs too.
at about 3:45 today, thursday she called and texted me. i didn't respond as i was getting a massage because i needed to relieve some stress. when i got out i called her back. we chit chatted like we were close friends. she told me about work, her new apartment she's getting, and how the dogs were doing. i was genuinely excited for her. something was going on in the background and i told her i needed to get on the ball because i had to work tonight. she sounded disappointed but said she would call me later.
so much has changed in a few days. also today, i spoke with my DB coach Jody. she's always been amazing for me and helped me understand that i'm past phase 1 of a WAW, "letting the dust settle." i'm starting phase 2, "friendship" and she gave me some great advice on how to continue. i'm motivated again and while i realize she won't be home anytime soon, i'm well on my way of getting her back here. in the mean time, i'm continuing to focus on me and my short comings.
PDT, go easy lol. i know you're anti friend business, but i think i'm starting down the right path. it's alot easier to be her friend then being scared to talked to her and left in the dark. i still have not went one day since last wednesday of initiating contact. i have responded tho like a friend would. i also set boundaries on my time and don't hang on the phone with her. i always am the one saying, alright i gotta get back to what i was doing.
oh and one more thing, she called yesterday and asked for our landlords contact info. apparantly she wants him to lie and say she was a model tenant and the dogs never have accidents on the floor. lol! he called me and asked me what i wanted him to do. i told him to help her out. i don't want to be the one standing in her way. a friend wouldn't do that. he said he was going to mention to her that he wasn't going to lie, but asked me what to do and then tell her i was the one who said to help her out. i wonder what her response is going to be. i said if he does that to not let her believe i knew he was going to do that. he is totally on my side and has even commented on how much i've changed in a short period of time. oh well, here goes nothing again....
