Whatever you feel comfortable doing seems to work. I know he is the father and I respect that fact, but he hasn't done much of a job to show he wants it. Get a card from her, call him and see what plan he has in mind and think it over.
My exh and I were pretty uncomfortable the first year or two with holidays and sharing the kids. We didn't do such a good job of respecting the other. Maybe it is just the way people are. It mostly depends on the type of R you had before.
About the other, there will be someone out there, like my h, if it is a 'problem" to have a small child, you can always live apart and still have a close R. Most men fall into two categories, those who accept parenting, and those that don't. I didn't seem to note a problem when dating, at 46 with one in elementary school and one in middle school. It would have been fine with me to have lived sep. but have a steady R. It was my H that wanted to live with me from the start.
Cheer up. Things will get better if you allow them to.
