When she say's "You can't understand" I just want to respond "How do you know what I can or can't understand"
Good now you are really "listening." She's mind reading and it's wrong. So yes you need to call her on it.
"Thanks for responding, I understand that you don't want to talk about it. As far as me understanding I would appreciate it if you would let me be the judge of whether or not I am capable of understanding. Because throughout all of this stress I am finding out that I am capable of growing, learning, feeling, understanding and caring in bigger, deeper and more meaningful ways then I could have imagined just a short time ago. So next time just tell me that you don't want to talk about it and I will understand to the best I can."
About face, round the corner to keep working on you. I am Thinker hear me ROAR! It's a boundary you are establishing, be prepared to reinforce it. Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
