Here's a hint for ya, V, right from the description of the "Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants" book.
"To women: He's sensitive, romantic and tries hard to please you, but when there's a problem he seems oblivious. When you ask for input on a decision, he says, "It's up to you."
My personal bane: Restaurant decisions.
"What restaurant do you want to go to tonight, hon?," she asks.
But, but...I *honestly* don't care! I'm a simple guy! I hate cooking! Food's food! I'm good with a LOT of different cuisine! Whaffle, whaffle, whaffle....
-- B.
Heh.. I had already figured this one out. And it really is true: I was Mister "Whatever you'd like, dear". Now I think for a moment and come up with an idea, even if I'm not really dead set on it. Doing this at least avoids the whaffle trap. The difference is noticable too - it really is.
B. - do you have any other "low hanging fruit" like this? I'm looking for more things like this that I can do right away. Now I always try to lead. For example, moments ago W said "the Boy (4 y/o) says he doesn't want to take guitar lessons anymore, what should we do?"
Previously, my answer would have been something like "I don't care/I'm not sure, what do you think we should do?". Today I boldly said "He's only 4. If he doesn't feel like taking guitar lessons, let's end them. Maybe he will feel more like doing it when he's 5." Wife agreed, problem solved. I was involved, stayed involved, and led a little bit. It didn't seem so hard. But I'm sure that there's a ton more that I have to work on. Permission seeking/approval seeking are so insidious - I have a hard time catching these...
ME: 46/W:44 M: 6 years S: 4 Bomb: 1/20/09 SSM 2004-present marital therapy began 2/09 neither of us want divorce.. yet
