Pain - you said in a previous post: "I am in the process now of waking up to realize that this woman that I looked up to and admired for her strength and conviction is actually a very selfish and scared little girl with delusions of entitlement."
My advice is that you continue thinking along these lines. You really need to "see" her objectively. I don't mean to "see" her negatively at all, but to see her as a scared and selfish little girl is very accurate. Remember too, she does not WANT to act that way. When a woman is acting this way, she needs support (usually counseling - but she also needs friends and family). Sometimes you cannot give it to her as she is not able to receive the support she needs - which sounds like your case. In such sitatuations, its probably best to let her have her meltdown for a bit longer, do not react or respond to it (letting her own it), but when she's done let her approach you with how she really feels. REALLY find out how she feels, ok?
Its a little worrisome that she has jealousy issues yet also has infidelity issues. This indicates she needs a lot of inner work and that work will take time and effort. You need to really view the truth here, do you want to be around while she makes huge inner changes? What if she doesn't want to?
This is reality. Look at the real picture as an outsider does. She needs empathy, but also reality, and so do you.
The whole thing about you, your one nighter, and then your wife calling you home the next day, is just one of those odd life surprises that causes you to be faced with a sudden crossroads.
Take time to decide which way you turn! There are no accidents!
