Ms. H, I have to agree w/everyone. It's a control issue and yes, he's still trying to call the shot where you are concerned, never mind what it's doing to you and the boys.
Between Tears and I are both thinking alike here. He knows that the time is getting closer and closer to where he will not rule the roost from afar. He doesn't want to lose that control. It's not so much the memories of the house, but he he knows that once all of it is settled...no more pulling your chain and telling you how high to jump.
Have the lawyer do the walking and talking with his lawyer. The burden of the permits should not fall on you and you alone. It's time the nut step up to the plate and share in the settlement of this place. After all, isn't he the one that wanted out? This man reminds me so much of my ex it isn't even funny.
Take are of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
