<whistling softly> You know what AK, you are really growing and moving through things.
Quote:
I don't wish him the torment of knowing that he will look back and have to live with it. I was being more of a friend than a wife at that point.
That my dear, was the first time I've really seen you post something that really shows you care about him AND you at the same time. You had his best interest at heart and that shows. I think that's important to note.
You are a truly wonderful human being. You are not just a wife or just a mother. Those are important roles you play but that is not YOU. This situation is a gift and an opportunity to find out who you really are and reconnect with that person again.
You are starting to not live in fear. That is an incredibly important and intoxicating and exciting step is it not?
Of course H is sensing the tide changing. He'll go berserk trying to regain his balance and control of the situation - this is not about winning though. You should continue caring but at a distance if you can.
I think what really strikes me in your more recent posts is that you are very much starting to think and focus on you without the anger and frustration and fear of divorce. What's changed? You have.
I think you are coming to terms with searching for you. You are realizing that living in fear is not working for you. Based on what I've seen, that was going to happen. You are not a naturally fearful person are you? (That's rhetorical.)
I'm glad you're growing. I'm glad you are really starting to explore what it is YOU want. I strongly encourage you to continue exploring that. You are worth it. You deserve to know. Your family deserves to know who you are and what you need and want in life. You will be happy and fulfilled. You just have to go on and figure out what that means and what you want to be that. This is your life - go live it!
Rock on GF! I think the key is to continue caring but not getting caught up in the fear and drama. If things work out, great. If not, great. Either way, you will better know you. And you are worth knowing (I have a sense for these things and you trip the scales.)
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."