A new thread, a new outlook.....

[Can it work]

Sandi,

Your words almost exactly give voice to my thoughts. I was trying to put down those thoughts though as I didn't believe I had given this whole thing long enough. So many people talked about things like how the WAS can have a change of heart after about 6 months etc, etc but I still knew in my heart that it was different with my W because of her age.

Her lifestyle combined with possible depression may take years for her to change. By that time, there is no telling what she may decide to do. Am I telling you to give up and file for a D? No, but I am saying that I think you should completely drop the rope and move on with your life as if you think she will no longer be your W--or the main focus any longer.

I agree with this completely. I've been avoiding dropping the rope completely because I always had 'what if?' doubts in my mind. There's always been a barrier in my head not allowing me to let go.

By emotionally "dropping the rope", you will set yourself free of the anger, disappointment, and hope......and you will stop clinging to every word she says and every deed she does and you will stop trying to disect it in order to understand the meaning behind every little detail. That is enough to drive a person crazy.

That is one of the main things hurting me right now. I just don't feel I can live like this any more. It is beginning to drive me crazy that the woman I love so much can be so cold towards me no matter how much I try. There's only so much rejection a person can take. I really don't want to go on like this.

I do believe you should fight to have equal visitation rights with your child and for whatever is best for him.

The fact of this is that I'm not sure that equal visitation rights is in his best interests. She only works 2 days a week where I work 5. Even if he was to go to her every day I was working, I don't think it would be fair on him to be moved around so much. In the future when he starts school and it's less of an issue I would like to see equal visitation and I will be fighting for it. Right now though I just have to accept that I'm going to have him less than her because I want him to be as stable as possible. I know now he loves spending time with me and I intend to keep him enjoying it for the rest of his life. I will never take a back seat as a father no matter what else happens in my life.

Maybe another person is waiting around the corner who will be a woderful companion for you. Perhaps I shuld not say that and you may not even want to think that, but I am one who believes there is a possibility for another chance at finding love with another person.

This same thought has been going around and around in my head. I know I want love in my life. I also know I don't need it to be happy but I truly do want it. I feel so guilty for thinking it but right now with the way my W is acting, I only want her back for the sake of our son. The way she is right now is not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. Nobody else will be the mother of my child though. That's something which is irreplacable.

As for continuing to post on here, I have no intention of stopping. There are great people on here who help me and others who need help. Even if my sitch works out perfectly, I'm still going to be a regular visitor to help anyone I possibly can. I've not been helping enough people lately but I will get back in to it.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help Sandi, it means the world.

Kev