Gypsy: Wonderful post. It is as you describe. There's a lot that LBS needs to let happen. It's hard, it hurts, but it's necessary. Our success is defined as maintaining our self and our integrity as it happens.

"WAW needs to own it". Absolutely. This doesn't come from a position of spite, but we as the LBS have to allow the WAW to walk alone. The sorting out period comes with good and bad and sooner or later they must deal with all of it. If we don't fully disengage then they keep limping along using us a crutch (cake eating) and never fully evaluate.

"The One" = Whomever invented this idea did a great injustice to relationships everywhere. I don't mean to discount the deep connection and feelings of love a couple can feel because they are real. Nor do I mean to discount the notion that some personalities mix better than others. But there's nothing spiritual about it. "The One" is chosen together; is a relationship built together; is a relationship maintained together. "The One" is the one YOU open your heart to and do the work with.

Alive = '..working at CVS and driving a clunker...yet feeling better about myself' really resonated with me. I told my psy yesterday that I really have no reason to feel as good as I do. Not that I'm bungee-jumping blissful right now but I could be devastated if I chose to dwell on my sitch on paper:

- Getting sep'd and probably divorced (seems to be little difference)
- Finances are a mess
- My growth stocks based retirement fund is worth about $1.49 last time I checked.
- Renting
- Driving an older car (but it's paid off and it runs dammit! And I EARNED that "140.6" sticker the hard way.)
- I still haven't figured out that ONE amazing thing in life I want to do yet.

Psy asked, "Feel a little like a college student just starting out again?" Yes, I do. Just living on my feet.

But living day to day it's fine. Most of that stuff above makes little difference in my overall happiness. Money, house, car, stuff...it's just stuff. And it will get better.

I have my health, a nice place to live, children I love, and I'm learning so much about myself everyday. I'm trying very hard to learn and live compassion, happiness, fairness, and peace, and nothing can take those away.

"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh