My story is not very different than Saffie's. The kids knew right away because let's just say sound travels well in our house. So they heard the accusation the first time I made it, and they heard the lies. My youngest son had some time alone with his Dad and got the lies direct from the horse's mouth, and told me with tears in his eyes, that his Dad was not lying and I should forgive him for going away for 4 days with no contact.
So exposure of the truth also had to be shared. I was not the only one being fed lies. As for how it ended, my oldest son at that time liked to think of himself as a real tough guy. foul mouth, all that. So, like Saffie's children, we had the phone call records and he said he had something he wanted to say to OW. I didn't stop him. Apparently, what he had to say sounded a lot like a death threat. She called my H immediately and ended the affair. H tried for a few hours to blame us and put it back together with her, but no one was cooperating. So he had no choice. It was over. He tried to hold a grudge for a while. But how mad can you be at your kid protecting his family?
The boys were great. They both told me that if there was a divorce they would insist on living with H and OW and make their lives hell. I knew they could do it! I was really proud of my kids and how they were fighting for their family.
Forgiving their Dad? They all did it silently. They wanted their family intact and we went to Retrouvaille and kept the family intact. So they forgave. And forgot. They all know that love relationships are difficult. They are not too judgemental.
Did Retrouvaille give us direction? Absolutely. They gave us a path to follow. A tried and true path that thousands of others had followed to marital happiness. We followed the path precisely, never missed a session, never rejected their advice. We had a sense of which side of the bread had the butter on it by the time the weekend was over, and we were ready to give up selfishness to reach the greater good.
I usually do have a Retrouvaille thread going. It has been dormant for a few weeks. I will go bump it so that you can find it. There is a lot of good info on it.
