Your post got me to thinking...maybe there should be another term for LD for some people such as Mrs. B. She seems to be more, as you said it, intimacy-avoidant. Which doesn't mean the same as LD. She has a rich fantasy life and does crave sexual release, she just avoids intimacy, not sex (even if much of her sex life is with herself). Whereas many LD's avoid both the intimacy and the sex, or literally have no desire for sex at all but do want intimacy and closeness.
I found out I was in this intimacy-avoidant category too, all the while thinking I was LD, when I was married. Now I realize I did in fact have many intimacy issues...but not that many actual sex issues. Wow! What a shock!
Anyway, not that it helps, just that there is a difference and I think you are going to get much farther much faster than if she didn't have a rich inner sexual life like she does.
Congrats on the argument repair...I am learning these lessons, also, and much from the 7 principals book!
I'll go and post an update on mine here in a minute...
if you could pm me, I can give you his screen name
Howdy Dug; no PM's are permitted on any of these forums. You could recommend to him that he come tell us his story here (in the SSM forum), if you don't want to give his screen name directly.
-- b.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
His is def not the SSM. His is the WAW with major control issues and A LOT OF BAGGAGE!! You are a wealth of knowledge and I've tried and tried to share with him to no-avail.
Thanks!!
btw: I have my H reading the New Male Sexuality book you recommended. Things are really getting much better. I've been working with my ds4 to get him out of our bed. Things are good, real good.
