I already thought of this starting 5 months ago. I tried very hard to figure this out and then I acted on it. I read the 5 Love Languages book and it seems like her main love languages are Acts of Service, and then gifts. I have been working hard on doing lots of things to show I care for many months. The effects of this effort seem pretty minimal, so I'm not sure I really have it right. We also do "date night" once a week.
I did what the book suggested to diagnose her love languages, but she remains very withdrawn most of the time, despite my efforts to engage her and show that I care for her. If anything, I am now worried that my springtime push to show my caring only resulted in further "doormat-ification".
I still feel like she is stonewalling and indifferent. And I also think that I have to keep trying to work on MYSELF, with the understanding that she may simply refuse to change at all. I am now 5 months into this recovery effort, and I am thinking that I will give it a year at the most. Already, friends and family are advising me to "flee". But I won't because I love her and I don't want to break up my family.
Last edited by Vigilant1; 06/18/0906:12 PM.
ME: 46/W:44 M: 6 years S: 4 Bomb: 1/20/09 SSM 2004-present marital therapy began 2/09 neither of us want divorce.. yet
