I have been married almost 6 years. I am 46 and the W is 44. We have a 4 year old S. We have had a SSM almost since the very beginning of our marriage. Right after the wedding, W went LD, and I reacted to it in much the same way as bagheera did, with disconnection, resentment, simmering anger, and so forth. My anger and resentment caused me to behave badly, leading to a worse and worse situation for us. She responded with continuous criticism and contemptuous nitpicking. All of this led to a very tense and bleak home environment. Probably a lot like trying to live on Mars. We have not had sex in over 5 years and affection has been entirely nonexistent until recently.
Anyway, I WOKE UP in January and decided I would try to move heaven and earth to turn my marriage around. Initially, W was extremely skeptical but she was up for marital therapy, so we have been doing that since then.
Your signature also says: "Bomb: 1/20/09"
Question V: did you wife threaten to walk out at that time? ask for a separation or divorce? Describe what happened last January to "wake you up."
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
