Recently things have changed in a good direction for situation.
I have to believe a lot of it has to do with the fact I finally stood up for me and my son and made some decisions for us....and not really considering H much while making these choices. Every time there's been positive changes for me and H, it's been after I took the bull by the horns and started to really make changes and decisions for me....with out much thought for him. And frankly, I don't feel like he's thought about me much either, so I have no bad feelings about this.

I've made it very clear, I'm leaving when we divorce. I'm not sticking around for the gossip storm that will be hitting soon after we make it official, as it's actually already started. H and I have pretty high profile jobs....so it will be a nice little piece of gossip mixed with facts to keep everyone's jaws yapping.

I told him we can put in the divorce settlement I will return with our son after a specific time frame, about a year or so. He's agreeable to this but not really happy about our Son leaving this town at all, but he's being ok about it which I appreciate.

H said a couple of weeks ago he would try a marriage program with me then some people got in his ear...."She can't force you to stay married, she can't force you to work on it, etc" so he says he does NOT want to do the program. He has a distant female cousin who found him on facebook that he's never met but has started to confide in because the old OW doesn't give him the time of day anymore. And I know this cousin has been talking crap about me despite NEVER meeting me.....remember her, we'll get back to her in a second. (My life is soooo drama)

Which brings us to the most recent strange turn of events.
I met with a lawyer yesterday after H and I went in for our dentist appointment.
Before going to the dentist H and I talked about a few things...including the fact he is now willing to give the marriage program a try....???? WTH?????

I am still 99% sure of divorce for us, but I was surprised.
He did sign a new lease for a place in town that is furnished and it's month to month which is what I asked him to look for so if or more likely when I leave for Virginia, he won't be paying a lot of money to break a lease.

We are going to start week two next week for the marriage program and have agreed to not talk about anything else for the rest of this week.

He is going to start moving his clothes to his new place this weekend when he gets the keys on Friday.

I have absolutely no idea why the change of heart as it relates to the program--I have my theories, but we'll see what happens. I decided to not even ask him why he wants to try it now. But I'm really not holding my breathe. I'm not even sure what I want anymore but I did make a pretty big stink about doing the program so I have to now and I want to, so that's good. My true hope is that we'll at least be able to figure some things out about ourselves and get along better. That's the most important thing for Son.

I am going to continue to move forward with moving back to Virginia.

Why the change of herat with him....???? My theories are this, as to why he's now willing to try the program again: The facebook cousin.....she sent me a message on the 10th telling me I need to let it go and some other details about my relationship with H which he has no right to be talking about with really a stranger. I showed him the message the other night. He was in complete disbelief as I pulled it up and he read it. Then I got a sincere apology about it and I said "you want to make me out to be crazy, but since all this crap started this is not the first time something like this has happened.....PLEASE stop talking about our relationship with people until you are positive THEY aren't crazy." He again apologized for it and to the best of my knowledge has stopped talking to her. But even if he hasn't, I don't really care. She cooked her own goose. I know he was shocked and probably even appalled. I could see it on his face when he was reading the message.

I also let his parents in on somethings when they started in on me about giving up and "You both have been unhappy for the last several years......" What? Who told you that? I let them in on some info, such as I was pregnant and miscarried in September....not only was I pregnant, we were TRYING!!! Why would I think our marriage was in trouble when we were trying to have a second child AND trying to buy a new house????? They looked shocked....it's ugly to admit it, but I felt some satisfaction over this development. So I think his parents may have said "Alright, maybe give this program a try....." now that they know a little more.

And finally, I think his lawyer as confirmed to him what my lawyer has told me: If I contest the divorce on the grounds we never sought professional help, the judge will side with me and force him into counseling.....because of our three year old son. Will it work, forcing someone to see a therapist? Probably not, but if one parent is asking for it, the judge most likely is going to grant it for the sake of the child. I think this because H asked me "If I do this program will this be 'professional help' you keep wanting?" I said yes.

So here we are.

Keep fighting. You never know Confused. You just never know. And my lawyer mentioned something else yesterday.....he keeps numbers and stats....he says just less than 40% of his clients reconcil with their spouses during the divorce process.

Walk with me. Let's keep fighting. It might not end well, but at least we'll look our kids in their eyes and tell them "when it was over, I had bloody hands and no teeth left because I fought this tooth and nail....." And we'll be telling the truth.