Why not?

[AJM]

And I was sincere that I know it is ok for us to see it differently.

Self-reflection. Beyond what I did in the past (much of it I was already working on), NOW...I need to stop judging him and create things myself. Stop making excuses. Accept the gifts of this sitch regardless of the disappointment and hard work ahead. Stop living in fear. Accept D. Explore my hostility and find tools for processing it and chilling it out.

You have come a LONG way, AK. The detachment is a huge thing. The idea that the old marriage is over is a HUGE thing. The idea that it is over may not be true. You are at a point where you are ok with it being over, but be prepared for that to change. It usually does. What I think will get you through is changing you. Really changing you. H may catch up and he may not. He may try to change himself and he may not. The constant is YOU. The place to change is YOU. The person to change the most is YOU.

Stop living in fear. I think a t-shirt might be in order, Master AK. We'll have to look around for some rice paper to see if you're ready to head out in the world....

I do think you should be careful playing the "I may have a boyfriend" act. Be honest but I can see where not dispelling his ideas is something you may not do right now. I think that was a plug for some attention from him. You were checking to see if he was interested. He is. You don't have to keep doing that. I think being honest about working on you and moving on and not living in fear is a good thing. Focusing on the kids? I'm not sure that's gotten you very far - they need you yes. But YOU need to be the focus and that is the best way you can help them.

Good job!

AJ