Charlie Brown Update

[Vigilant1]

My W seems remarkably like Mrs. Charlie Brown. Not in touch with her feelings, doesn't have much to say, never tells me ILY, etc. Usually impenetrable. She tells me she is "in this" and wants to work things out to save our marriage, but I am now having a hard time believing this.

And yet, every once in a while I am able to "spark her up" at bedtime to the point where we have a nice make-out session together. When this happens, it seems like I just scoot over next to her in bed, say a few sweet nothings, and start caressing her, kissing her on the neck, working my way to her lips, and finally to kissing her deeply. She DOES seem to get pretty aroused when I am able to get something going. This has happened twice in the past 2 months, after NOTHING for the five years before that.

In and out of therapy this month I have made the terrible, idiot mistake of asking for permission. This has led to a significant setback for us. I really wish I had avoided this trap, but I wanted for us to TALK about intimacy and sex (in and out of therapy) and somehow I made the wussy mistake of asking for permission. I urge anyone reading this to avoid making the same mistake. I NEED to press my case, I need to PUSH. I need to lovingly approach and initiate what I want WITHOUT asking permission or seeking approval, and then be prepared to accept NO graciously, but not EXPECT a certain outcome.

Naturally I want to find some way to recapture the magic of what happened in those 2 make-outs we had recently. It seems like if I had better "sweet nothings" to say to whisper to my W in that kind of situation that it might help significantly. Do any of you experts - CB, Bagheera, LG, etc. have any suggestions?

Thanks in advance!!