Trying to detach from the madness!

[Startingover2]

Kassie..you are so sweet. I am sitting her crying and reading those words. I know you know exactly what it is like to be with an alcoholic and its destructive path.

I know I need to choose to let go. There are days when I feel like I am and then something happens and I get sucked right back in. I also journal dates and times in a log for future use and I notice a pattern...if exh and I are together alot, meaning if he is visiting alot and I let myself become friendly or a social thing like last weekend I weaken.

I really also hate being single. At 44 with a toddler the chances of me meeting someone who will accept that are pretty small. So any crumbs exh throws my way attention wise I eat up. Financially I am so strapped where I wasn't before. My kids are going through major life changes by just plain old growing up and know its just a matter of time before they fly away too.

I also know the day is fast approaching where I will have to defend with everything I have to not let exh get unsupervised visits. The older she gets the closer it is.

You are right Kass...I cannot control him or his drinking. I just want to prevent him from destroying anymore of my life by being proactive and prepared. Almost to an obscession which is not good.