Everyone needs downtime after the news delivered. The focus is the kids, keeping the boat on an even keel for the most precious passengers.
At some point, 'Gotta GAL' becomes part of living. Anxiety and fear evolve to focus and goals. What was inconceivable transforms to a whole new way of thinking, viewing and embracing life. How to become the person you're meant to be.
Choices.
You have been incredible through this whole process, from keeping DB cheat sheets initially to being mojolicious.
And here's the rub.. because my impression goes against popular opinion.
Let her go.
Only she can decide to come back.
You've provided caring and warmth, acceptance, been phenomenal. But can you save her? Is that what's she's looking for? It's still all about her.. her fears of not being attractive enough for future partners, of being alone, of 'are you willing to be in my back pocket and what will I do if you aren't'? She may be looking at the big picture, or the little picture.. but she'll get the real picture. Her happiness is hers to own.
You know her best.. that she's a wonderful person with a good heart who's struggling and in a lot of pain, doing what she feels is the right thing even though she feels like crap doing it.
Let her experience the consequences of her decision. Your exemplary actions speak volumes.. over a loudspeaker.. with simultaneous translations in twelve different languages. If you 'carry' her she may never find her way back to you. Choices.
Returning the ring with sentimental value.. "Let me go." "I'm leaving." or "Look at what a brave little toaster I am, do something".
She's scantily clad in bed and pulls the sheets around her.. "You're in my space." "I'm not comfortable." "I'm vulnerable."
It hurts, it sucks, along with being unfair to the innocent children you brought into the world.
Let her feel, let her chose to come to you for support or not.
It doesn't mean you don't love her, that you're walking away from the marriage... it's respecting her wishes, that go counter to your goal. She can and will fall. Without your safety net, she'll learn how to get up. And appreciate what's missing or walk away.
A kick in the pants is a big eye opener and wake up call.. for both parties.
