confused.....want to do something.....

[hopeful_cb]

I just wanted to agree with other's comments. I know you want answers to some of the tons of questions you may have flying around in your mind, but I wouldn't initiate any R talk about these. I would let him bring that up if he wants to. When ever I have done this bc I felt 'I just had to get some answers', it always turned worse. When I don't initiate this, things go much better. It takes the pressure off of you for what to bring up, and he may feel pressured, and as taveldane said if he thinks you are pushing he will prob pull away more. Also think the code word thing is good, when I feel myself getting sucked into things I really have to bit my lip and think first.

I probably would have done the same thing with the flight too for my H. But then I think I would have done that for any friend that was coming to visit. I have been using that to measure what I do sometimes lately, I think would I do this for a friend? or how would I react if a friend were asking me? etc. I know we aren't 'friends' per se but it helps me rein it in if I am going over the top.

It hard to decide about the ring thing too. But like Mnt said, I just do what feels right. For a while I didn't wear it for lots of reasons, then some days I'd wake up and feel like I wanted to wear it. However, I didn't wear it when I went to meet H this week. It was a day I hadn't worn it to work or for myself so I decided I wasn't going to put it on just bc I was seeing him. I did what felt right for me.

I also love the story about your sister getting D and remarried, it gives me hope, and reminds me the future isnt all laid out already.