Wow. It has been an entire week since I posted on my thread!
There have been some positive moves in my sitch but then there was the ( as of now inevitable?) Pull Back trick that the WAS pull out of their knapsack. Hey, presto. Lookie here! Now I am friendly...now I am detached. Kapow!
But you know what? It is what it is. There may be many reasons for the Pull Back. Who knows what goes through their Pretty Little Heads? I certainly do not and while I pray for understanding I will not be paralyzed while seeking that understanding. I can assume several things but you know what assuming does.
I have my knapsack full of prayer and I dig deep into this bag. I have even picked up some DB Kung Fu moves from a few people on this Board. They are in the knapsack. What else is in there? Laughter, the love of God, friends and family, a positive attitude. Hey, my knapsack has some GOOD STUFF in it.
I feel free of the oppressive FEAR that I felt a while ago. I had to pick fear apart and see what it is made of. Then I saw what I am made of. And I realized that with God's help I am greater than what I fear.
So what next? I used to have a DB gameplan approach to this. I will "go dark", do a 180, etc etc. Now I feel like I will just go with the flow. I keep asking myself if this means that I am abandoning DB. Maybe. Or maybe I am just living my life. Maybe I have really Let Go. Maybe I have embraced the tools I acquired in DB and that is why I feel like I am not conciously following a gameplan. I got tired of the "doing" something and that is why I am "doing me".
