fyi, I believe one size does not fit all, and sense you agree. I can't say what I'd do in your sitch with all adult kids and surely would not judge it as you can tell by my last post to you.
I am concerned about how it affects kids of any age. However, more important to me are the more extreme forms of "Exposure". I know people who have urged disclosure/exposure to "family and friends and OP's family and community" (??) to be "fully informed" and even employer groups in some cases. I had a client at Legal Aid tell me that she "wanted to tell OW's kids to their faces to see the same hurt on their faces that she had seen on her children's..." (I literally worry for her safety and other's. That type of anger and consuming bitterness is something that isn't holy, obviously. But it's also so unhealthy and it's ruining HER life, not her h's...I'll never forget that day.)
I wondered when, in the course of events, did you tell the kids? Was it to explain why there were problems with you guys, or Did your kids play a part in ending it, or was the mere fact they knew, enough for your h to end it? If they did play some sort of role, how was that for them? And if you have something that helped your children to still see their dad lovingly (though not necessarily the same as before) I'd love to know of it. D20 says she'll go to c, but I don't think she means "with" h...at least not at first. Yes - I'm backing off and just leaving that to God. (or trying to )
With time and prayer and her seeing us model our M as it once was and being as close as we have been the past year (she was overseas so this is the first time we'll all live under the same roof for more than 2 weeks, in 4 years...)
I hope & believe all the kids will someday leave it behind them. Hopefully we'll leave them a legacy of commitment and forgiveness that is unfortunately rare today. The kids used to really admire their dad, (though they hated his long hours). Time, time time...A finite resource and we're all given an unknown amount...well again - good for you. We are all works in progress. I look forward to seeing more of your posts. j-
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
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