Divorce looming #14

[Done in VA]

Hi Kev,

I wanted to say that I have been keeping up with this thread off & on for awhile & have only just jumped on today. I have been reading something that has helped me develop a more positive attitude during my struggles & felt today's devotional, which I just read, applied to you (an all of us on this board for that matter). I am human, I get mad & vent on this board so this book is not a cure all, but it's very inspirational. And it sounds as if you are a Christian so I thought I'd mention it. It is a book called Champagne for Soul, Rediscovering God's Gift of Joy by Mike Mason.

It is a 90 day experiment in exercising your "joy muscle". The author had been an alcoholic at one point & feels that it takes 90 days to develop a habit. The author wanted to see if the more you practiced seeking joy, the more joy you would receive in your life.

My reading tonight made me think of you & I would like to share.

"Anyone can "consider it pure joy" when everything goes well. The time when such an attitude really counts is when "you face trials of many kinds". Happy people can have just as many problems as unhappy ones. The difference is that unhappy people hate having problems, whereas happy people are content to work through their problems, finding joy in spite of and even because of them. Joy doesn't result from avoiding suffering but from moving through it. If there's a shortcut to happiness, it's through trials."

And

"If we think it is unreasonable to expect ourselves to rejoice in suffering, try looking at the other side: Isn't it unreasonable not to rejoice? Taking into account God's great love and faithfulness, and the promise of our eternal reward in heaven, isn't a joyless attitude like a small child's tantrum? Feeling powerless, we either shut down or throw a fit as the only means of retaliating against the one who does hold the power.

Unhappiness is a form of pouting. It's a way of saying, "I shouldn't have to suffer like this; it's scandalous; and I don't deserve it and I won't accept it". Fine. Your unhappiness will continue until you do accept it. You'd rather be right than happy."

I hope you'll find this message as encouraging as I did. Isn't it a joy in itself that some person across the country who has never met you, only posted on your thread once before, was just sitting in bed reading her nightly devotionals & she thought of YOU? You have lots to be thankful for in your life from all the people on this message board to your family and your health. Please focus on that for now. Good night!