WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

Stillloveshim,

Thanks again for keeping positive focused. I will definitely keep your suggestion in mind for Sunday!

I wound up sending out just 1 resume today (not too much new from yesterday's barrage I sent out).

I do have a call this evening setup to talk to a recruiter that I responded to a job posting. Big downside is he is out in CA. Figure I would cross that bridge when I get there.

I did also get a call back from the recruiter that had placed me in my most recent role, she wanted to chat about tweaks to my resume, but I was in route to pick up my boys so I couldn't talk, so I have a 9:30 AM call with her tomorrow.

I wound up visiting a couple of my friends this afternoon (the retired couple that both came from a prior divorce relationship). They had actually tried to stop by on Monday when my wife told them of my job loss, but I was out with my wife getting a cell phone. I chatted with them briefly, but thought it would be good to just visit them.

They were very supportive and tried to keep me upbeat. I told them I wasn't that bad as I know what I need to do relative to finding a job. I was a wreck from my wife's divorce bomb because I had no idea what I should do so I know I made a lot of mistakes. I did tell them how I was also considering looking at some business ventures at the same time of looking for a job. They seemed interested on one of my ideas in particular so who knows, maybe this could be a really good opportunity. Of course you need to be careful going into business with friends.

My wife called me a couple of times today, mostly to see how I was doing, but also to complain about how crazy it was at work and how she still wasn't feeling well.

I did manage to work out a reduction for my boys summer camp/day care as I can have them with me most of the time. I wanted to keep them in at least partially so that they won't be bored and so that I won't feel like they are missing out on things because of my job loss. Overall I think it's about a $700/month reduction. Nothing huge, but every little bit counts.

I guess that is a positive, that I will be spending a lot of time with my boys this summer.

I tried to keep my wife very involved in what I was doing to cut cost as that is something I had never engaged her in (one of her many complaints - how I cut her out of managing the family finances). I just hope that she sees that I really have changed in how I am approaching life/issues.

I know I lost what little respect she had for me when I fell apart after she dropped the divorce bomb on me. One of the things she had always thought would be that I was her rock that she could count on. I think it was part of her father leaving issues.

Nevertheless, she has said that she still doesn't trust me with her feelings and has reminded me that she still wants a divorce. I got a letter from her lawyer today that outlined our custody agreement in legal mumbo jumbo (I noticed that it left out the right of first refusal clause). I was going to call her about it, but just sent it to my lawyer to get his thoughts. Figure I would just mark it up and send it back to her lawyer rather than talk to her about it. Or should I talk to her about it?

I did talk to her tonite as she sent me a text. She was sleeping (still not feeling well) so she just told me about her day and how she was feeling. I listened and tried to "show her" that I listened. Then I told her that I knew she was tired and would let her go before she woke up too much.

So now, I'm prepping for my call with the recruiter at 11:00 PM.

So goes another day....