Thank you Hopeful for checking on me....I have been very caught up in work related things and have not had much of a chance to write......and find that a lot of the times, I have nothing TO write. I am not trying to solve this mystery any longer....just hopeful that the story has not ended and there is more to come.
Tonight, I spoke to my sister and listened to her complain about her day. Sometimes life is just so crazy and funny! She has it all and yet, her day to day life is something she is NOT happy with....and I pray for her to find some peace and time so that she can spend a bit of it on herself. She is 9 yrs younger to me and I hope that her life is headed in a direction that allows her and her H to grow together.
Then, my best friend called. She is single and she just went on and on about "Is this all there is to life...please tell me there is more." I just did not say anything, bc I have no answers. I think it is important to form and maintain a relationship with self. I know that for sure right now bc at the end of the day that is the only control you will ever have in life....
After an hour of this.........I finally got off. And now 3 hrs later, I find myself in a panic. I do not have the house super clean and ready for my H's visit. I do not have groceries so that I can whip up his favorite dishes. I mean I am not sure, but why should I go out of my way for his visit. I am just going to play it by ear.
Should I wear my wedding ring in front of him? Is that telling him I'm still in and is that too much info to give him at the onset of his visit. I was thinking that I would give back the wedding ring.....our anniversary is coming up in 2 months....if he is inclined to keep working on this marriage, he can give it to me then....But, I don't know. That seems like a heavy move.
I am suddenly feeling panicked a little. I do have expectations of this meeting (which he is aware of)- to find out what he is thinking and why he wants this D in such a rush.......and to find out if he is willing to give the M some time - to be worked out or not - & we get the D in August.
Is that too much? Should I go get his favorite foods? Should I stay up tonight and clean and try to get the house as organized as possible?
The house is in decent shape......just not Martha Stewart great yet. And I have 2 tests that I have to study for - one of Tuesday and one for Wednesday....I just don't think I have time to spend on trying to make things "look" perfect for him. I have always been a very "perfect" housewife.......so hey, can this count as my 180??? HA!!!!
Ok. I feel better having written my crazy nerves out. I really need to start studying for one of the tests....so, will write again later........when panic hits again...
