I would approach this slowly. Your D was on vacation with your W, yes? Then I'm sure she saw some of what she was doing. I also know that when spouses start playing with their new friends, they tend to be bubbly about them. I have a feeling your D has heard about this person already and may have even started drawing her own conclusions. Children as so bloody smart, they know much more than we ever give them credit for.
Think about telling your D the initial facts than see what questions she asks. That will give you a feel of what she may already know or has figured out.
I support you in your decisions. It's going to be OK.
WT
She's not a child, WT...she will be 20 soon and still at home..still close to the both of us, although I know the mother / daughter bond can be different.
I think some of my concern is that she know the whole truth, but also her exposure to what may come in the future...can she trust her mother to be honest with her?
Is there more?....other men, drugs?...plans to take off and live with this guy?...these are all things I would like to know, but since she did not tell the truth from the start, how do I figure out what is going on?
I thought about the vacation, and the fact that this has been going on for at least a couple of months. The vacation was somewhat separate for the 2 of them...my wife stayed with our friends and my daughter was with her BF and a GF at a hotel. They all spent time together but also did things apart.
As I said...many strange thoughts...and I have to believe that if my daughter knows anything it's been deception and lies, just as I have had from her.
One thought I had was to use that to bring this more out into the open....to tell my wife that she needs to know...and see where she goes with that. Let her tell her what she wants, and I will fill in the blanks for her with what I know.
