Divorced now, seeking reconciliation

[drdon]

Well, about 2 months ago, ex-W told me she wanted to get together regularly, talk, and see if we can build emotional intimacy and see where that goes. We have been seeing each other about 2-3 times weekly, going for walks together, once a week spending an afternoon together, watching a movie, talking, or other activities.

About 3 weeks ago, she asked me if I wanted to try holding hands. I said yes, and enjoyed it very much. But since then she has not made any attempt or request to hold hands. About a week ago I asked her how she felt when we held hands--did she enjoy it. She said something like "it felt comfortable." I wanted to know what she thought of our relationship. She said she wonders if we are just friends. She's not sure we are compatible. Arrgh!

So the next time I saw her I told her I think we aren't compatible because I think we are compatible and she thinks we may not be. So I wasn't sure if we should continue acting as if we are compatible (i.e. as friends). She told me she felt very sad to hear that. Huh? She wanted to know if I thought that meant I wanted to stop talking regularly. I said I would keep talking if she wants to.

Since then we have met a few times. She seems impenetrable to me. I don't want to lose an opportunity to reconcile, but sometimes it seems she just wants to keep me at arm's length -- close enough to keep me in her service, but not so close that we reconcile.

Don