For some reason, not vindictiveness, I feel my D needs to know the whole truth...what I know...is that wrong? Even if the marriage is done, I do not want this to be glossed over by my wife and have her some how think my daughter is OK with it...I do not want her to be part of it.
I would approach this slowly. Your D was on vacation with your W, yes? Then I'm sure she saw some of what she was doing. I also know that when spouses start playing with their new friends, they tend to be bubbly about them. I have a feeling your D has heard about this person already and may have even started drawing her own conclusions. Children as so bloody smart, they know much more than we ever give them credit for.
Think about telling your D the initial facts than see what questions she asks. That will give you a feel of what she may already know or has figured out.
I support you in your decisions. It's going to be OK.
